FU: So, whom are you all rooting for now?

by HCE, Thursday, July 09, 2026, 08:41 (13 days ago)

I'm finding myself torn between seeking a new rooting interest and just hoping that everyone loses as comprehensively and painfully as we did. The latter option seems a touch unhealthy, but I have no personal connection to any of the remaining teams and thus no reason to root for them. (Well, technically I do have family roots in the Irish corners of Manchester, but the Irish part makes rooting for England a bit complicated...)

So, France? They're fun to watch, and their Black-Blanc-Beur thing is an aspirational good, but their best players ply their trade for truly odious clubs. Morocco? They're playing decent football this time, at least, but their bandwagon-jumping fans were pretty annoying in 2022, and the constant whistling when out of possession gets old. Spain? They were much more fun two years ago, when Yamal and Williams were running rampant, instead of playing this tiki-taka redux stuff. Belgium? Their pre-match histrionics and post-match trolling might have been warranted and well-done, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Norway? Fun story and the Viking row thing is cool, but I spend the rest of the year rooting against all things Haaland. Argentina? They're less obnoxious than in 2022, but I've had enough Argentine shithousery to last a lifetime. Switzerland? I almost fell asleep just thinking about it. Which leaves England, who play dull football but somehow gave us the best match of the tournament and, in Jude Bellingham, the best individual performance, plus Jordan Henderson's immortal statline of zero minutes, one yellow card, and a tournament-ending injury while singing "Wonderwall." But I really don't think I can stomach football coming home in New Jersey.

So, yeah, I guess I want everyone to lose. How about you guys?