OT: ND Futbol

by Mike (bart), Friday, May 11, 2012, 15:36 (5142 days ago)

I don't know if anyone remembers Ryan Miller. He played defense on the ND Men's team in the middle part of the 2000s. Anyway, he's been playing professionally in Sweden and this magazine feature, which is really, really weird, just got written about him.

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Interview Transcript from 5/11/12
Mr. Miller invited me to join him for breakfast and a chat at his condo the day before Halmstads BK's match with Jönköpings Södra. As the elevator doors opened to take me up to the building's penthouse, two lovely blonde women not younger than twenty and not older than twenty-four who could've been twins stepped out of the elevator chatting quietly but happily in Swedish. They were both startlingly attractive though looked and smelled as if they needed a shower before starting their day. I asked if they'd like to have dinner with me that evening but they must not have heard, as they walked passed on either side of me without pausing their conversation.

Mr. Miller's flat is on the top floor of the building just a few blocks from the stadium. It had a faint sour smell of a place in which vigorous exercise had recently been taking place. Miller greeted me at the door shirtless in a rather thin pair of mesh shorts. Perhaps he'd been doing pushups just before I arrived as he was visibly perspiring around the temples.

While we enjoyed a light breakfast of toast, poached eggs, and grapefruit I suggested it might be nice to include some photos of the condo with this interview so the readers could see how a young, single professional athlete lived. Mr. Miller asked that I wait until next week after his cleaning staff had come by.

MH: You've got a big game tomorrow with Jönköpings Södra after coming off a tough loss to Osters on Monday. Does the quick turnaround affect your preparation?

RPM: Yes, it's a very important match tomorrow. The schedule for our week always depends on the turnaround from games. For instance, we always have a light day of training/recovery the day after and then we are free the next day. We also always have an easy training day the day before the game, which focuses on how the other team plays and how we will play in turn. So, this week looked as follows: Monday - game, Tuesday - recovery training, Weds - Free, Thurs - intense training, Friday - Day before the game training, Sat - game. The short turnaround is also difficult for guys picking up injuries during the games. Unfortunately, we will have one of our starting central midfielders missing this game because of the short turnaround.

MH: Do you think that you'll have a difficult time getting to sleep tonight?
RPM: Nope, I will sleep like a baby!

MH: Walk me through the 24 hours before a game, both from a mental and physical preparation stand point.

RPM: Well, I guess those are two pretty different answers. The physical side starts with the training the day before. The training isn't long, so I focus on warming up well and staying focused on all the small details in order to make sure my quality is as high as possible in everything I do. I will make sure to get some explosive runs during the training, but I never want to make my legs tired. After training I will go home to put my legs up and just relax. I will have my typical night before the game meal, watch a movie, and go to bed around 10:30 or 11:00. I will wake up at 8:30 and take my time making breakfast while I start my daily hydration. About 6 hours before the game I will leave my apartment and do some kind of activation for my muscles to let them know they are going to play today. Once I get back to my apartment I will think a little about what I want to focus on in the game and then I will eat my pre game meal 3.5 hours before the game. Finally, I will leave my apartment 2 hours before my game and arrive at the stadium.

At some point during the week I will always watch our most recent game, and also the most recent game our future opponent has played. These two games are the keys to my mental preparation. I will watch the winger I will play against and note what he likes to do. I will also watch how the other team defends as a group so that I know what my options are when I have the ball. So mentally, these are the things I will be thinking about periodically during the 24 hours leading up to the match.

MH: As a young man right before races, I used to get so nervous that I would often vomit up what ever I had eaten that day. Does this ever happen to you? Do you get nervous anymore?

RPM: Haha... I have had teammates who had this problem, but I never have. I actually get more excited then nervous. I'm sure there is some nervousness I am feeling, but the excitement seems to dominate it.

MH: What time will you be going to bed this evening?

RPM: 10:30 or 11:00

MH: Do you plan on sharing the bed with anyone?

RPM: Nope... no battle of the bed sheets to keep me from sleeping!

MH: You mentioned in a previous interview that you don't speak Swedish because you're "stupid." Young children in Sweden are able to speak Swedish, some from the time they can walk. Do you think perhaps it is because you're not trying hard enough?

RPM: Are you saying young children in Sweden are stupid?? Yes, I would probably add that I haven't tried hard enough to the fact I'm stupid as to the reason why I can't speak better Swedish.

Editors Note: In no way was Haldanfield insinuating that Swedish children are stupid. On the contrary, the implication was that they are in fact more intelligent than Mr. Miller. The jab seems to have gone a bit over Miller's head, though certainly if he reads this transcript he'll understand.

MH: Do you think that if you had just one Swedish girlfriend for a long time rather than many Swedish girlfriends for a short time, a few days or hours as is typical, she might help you learn Swedish?

RPM: I could see a long term Swedish girlfriend being an answer to my Swedish speaking abilities. Short term probably not, but long term, yes.

MH: As a boy you played volleyball and basketball. Did you pursue football instead of these as a profession because you are too short?

RPM: Well Volleyball was always fun, but I was never serious enough to pursue it. However, basketball was probably my best sport at one point and the answer would be yes. I saw my physical attributes fit much better in the world of soccer than basketball.

MH: In 2007 you were awarded All American for Academics. As such a prestigious scholar, one of the best in United States according to this accolade, who are the five most influential authors on you?

RPM: Haha... yes I was... would you believe I achieved those honors without ever reading a book??

MH: No, seriously though Mr. Miller

RPM: "¦.. [Silence]

MH: Do you have a favorite Swedish author?

RPM: Nope, but Steig Larsson must be many people's favorite Swedish author of recent.

MH: A fine point you make Mr. Miller, I certainly enjoy his movies. Finally, what will you be having for dinner?

RPM: Same meal every night before games... Icelandic fish, which is baked in a pan with butter and garlic... steamed broccoli... and finally sautéed portabella mushrooms... Delicious!!

MH: Thank you for your time and I look forward to seeing you at Örjans Vall tomorrow.

© D.I.O. Media and Maxwell Haldanfield 2012.
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