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Sure, why try to ram it in from the one yard line with the silverback gorilla armed with an ice saber when you can just settle for the field goal-kicking mule.

Munnerlyn was an idiot.

"Sweet Jalen Brown" would evoke "Sweet Georgia Brown", which is from the 20's originally. This doesn't work for Chris Brown because the name doesn't ring right, and he's from the state right next door, which might cause tension.

And of course everyone named "Lou" has a 50/50 chance of being called "Sweet Lou".

I'll go with the next best thing and choose "Sweet Lo Wood". (Added bonus of combining old-timey nickname with new-style pop-culture nickname, since it sorta sounds like "Sweet N Lo" ... imagine the marketing possibilities!)

(And I don't mean that to be just a Psych reference, I actually have heard several variations on the theme.)

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--
"F--- everyone who isn't us."
#Team128

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(adapted from real-life old-timey baseball nicknames):

"Sledgehammer" Shembo
"Scoops" Tuitt (maybe only Navy would call him that ... )
"Ironsmith" Spond
"Twinkletoes" Jackson
"Handy" Hanratty
"Boots" Brindza
"Whitey" McDaniel (Miami probably already does call him that ...)
"Joltin'" James Onwualu
Sheldon "The Big Bopper" Day
"The Elusive Emir" Carlisle
Zach "The Kentucky Colonel" Martin
Nick "The Little Colonel" Martin
Ronny "The Gambler" Stanley

... we actually had a good real one last year with "Ol' Uncle Kappy"

What, you thought I was going to go the easy route and say "Otter"?

--
The 2007 ND-UCLA game was a once in a lifetime experience, I hope

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"Hap" Golson

"Gentleman" George Atkinson

Jalen "Three Finger" Brown

Lefty Zaire

"Babe" Nix

"Tex" Barratti

"Dandy" DaVaris Daniels

Ginger Springmann

Eddie "Dutch" Vanderdoes

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Call me a hopeless traditionalist, but if grass fields, wooden scoreboards, brick stadia, asbestos helmet lining, and Bowery Boy-style nicknames were good enough for our lads of yore, they should damn well be good enough for these fancy new players and their fancy nicknames.

Note: Admittedly, "Dutch" Bergman may have the least intimidating football player pose ever taken. The Victorian fainting fan carried prominently in the front of his pants during warm weather games certainly did not help.

Also, as a second request, along with a return to our proud nicknaming roots, I would also like to petition for a return to our football picture poses of yore. Including, but not limited to, the Flying Punt, the Jump, Jive n' Pass!, and the Levitating Torpedo Block.

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For best nickname?

@JayHayesND: Who wants chocolate ? smh
refer to me as Irish Cinnamon!