my wife has actually been more (for work--5 times maybe) and our oldest isn't even 5 yet.

It isn't easy, but as long as you are comfortable with who they are staying with (grandparents, aunt/uncle, friends) you should go. Clearly, your situation is unique. However, as others have said there is a risk in stepping out your front door every single day.

But if your kids are not going with you, then just make sure that you have everything arranged to take care of them if something happens (Wills, guardianship, etc.). And this applies to any kind of accident, not just terrorism.

I think this is overdoing it, but I have friends that when their kids were little and not going with them, they would fly on separate flights just so they both wouldn't be taken out in a plane crash.

What are the alternatives?

You already know the answers.

I don't, but you do.

We both know the answer is likely "go" - at this point, we just need to get comfortable enough with that decision to enjoy the trip. I appreciate the feedback.

On a related (yet more trivial) note, any suggestions for Madrid and Barcelona? In particular, assuming we go, I'd like to do at least one nice meal to celebrate 10 years. With the caveat that she doesn't really eat seafood (which will make dining on this trip tough in general...)

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travel

Back in last summer, we were thinking about Greece or somewhere in Europe but in the end decided on Asheville. We had an awesome time.

First off, before the main subject of your question, my heart goes out to your wife. My best friend from high school works for Aon in Chicago and before that Marsh and McLennon. Those were two companies hit very hard on 9/11, with one in the south tower and the other in the north tower of the WTC. For Aon he was one of the phone volunteers dealing with the aftermath, having to keep calm and helping to calm other people after over 50 people he knew well were killed. Needless to say, he says it's the hardest thing he ever had to do. I can imagine it's the same for your wife.

On the question -

Just remember those odds. They're lower than the odds of crashing on the plane you'll be taking there, even in high profile cities. It's not actually different. It's risk as you wife knows in her profession.

You have better odds at being killed in a car accident on the way to work. You have to think this way or it paralyzes you. There really isn't any other way to look at it.

As for looking over your shoulder, that's not necessarily a bad thing. You need to be streetwise in any big city.

The only reason I can think of for canceling is if you think you'll be nervous enough during the trip that you won't enjoy it. If you think you'll be looking over your shoulder the entire time, then postpone it. The fact that your wife has a personal emotional connection to Brussels probably makes this a little more likely.

Presuming nothing happens between now and then, the time and distance between the recent attacks and your trip will likely insulate the memory a bit.

If you have kids, the regular advice of making sure you have life insurance and a up-to-date will should give you some piece of mind. But, those things are important to have anyway. As you say, the odds are much more likely for something bad to happen on a regular day to day basis than from a terrorist attack.

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At night, the ice weasels come.

they had experienced a terrorist attack the year before, but the threat level was a lot lower than it is today. My attitude was I only have one life to live and I'm going to see as much of the world as I can before I go. The odds are in my favor and I'm going to enjoy myself. Of note, I wasn't with wife & kids. If they were apart of the equation I might have taken a more caution approach.

Its tricky for the tourist because unless you have an International DL, you're going to have to use public transit and those are the soft targets that terrorists love.

As an aside I loved Belgium, but I was a history major so I get off on the "old world".

I have spent time in Belfast during the Troubles and even stayed at the Europa hotel, which the IRA bombed a number of times. I was on a train in Amsterdam not far from the Spanish consulate when the ETA tried to blow it up. The train shook like crazy (thankfully we had just departed a coffee shop and were feeling no pain). I flew to Ireland shortly after 9/11. Probably because my grandparents died in a commercial plane crash, I think I'm going to die every time I get on a plane. I get the concern, especially since you now have kids. But I try not to let these things stop me from living the way I want to live. You obviously don't want to put yourself in a precarious situation, but the chances of it happening to you and your wife are miniscule. My advice: go and enjoy your trip.

Over the ~12 years I've been a professional reporter/writer/whatever, there have been five or six times (interviews in pre-gentrified Crown Heights; murder scene in housing project; unknowingly blown off and waiting for a murder victim's relative in one of the worst parts of Baltimore; proximity to black bloc protestors in NYC) where I've thought that I've been close to trouble.

It's happened abroad too; I got rocks thrown at my bus in Belfast and stayed in a East Berlin neighborhood that was ground zero in Turk-German fights.

Each time, honestly, you just get a warning sign in your head and gut. You start getting that "I stick out" feeling, and leave.

As you know and say, the odds of being part of this horrible history are small compared to just getting mugged or something. But the common denominator, I've found, is to trust your instincts even if the danger probably only lurks in your brain.

EDIT: I realize what I am saying is not entirely analogous to large symbolic acts of violence, but it's the best I got. From what I've read by war correspondents, they go by the same logic and admit they only really get in trouble when they ignore it.

We are all going to Rome this summer via New York. Nice "high profile" cities.

Frankly, I am kind of a home boy. I just assume play golf at my little club and fish in my little rivers.

But my wife loves to travel.

She landed in New York from Rome about 1am on 9/11/01 - she was living in NYC at the time. She had friends in the Towers.

You'd think she would be more freaked out but she is not.

By the way, one good thing to come out of 9/11 is my wife and kids. Stephanie would be in some international European city had she not become incredibly home sick after 9/11. I would never have "re-met" her.

EDIT: very sorry about your wife's friends.

We'll be in Paris for most of July this year with some touring around the continent prior to that. The kids will be with us. We aren't seriously considering canceling anything at this point, but Paris and now Brussels (along with the State Dept alerts that I posted about last week) have us thinking about how we're going to approach this. I'm not sure what you can do other than avoiding public transport (fat chance) or big public events. Euro Cup is hosted by France this year and I was thinking of catching a match if possible, but now I'm rethinking that. Also the typical Bastille Day events that we were banking on (parade, fireworks, Bal du Pompier, etc) we'll have to think about. It's definitely added a lot of stress. I'm really sorry to hear about your wife's colleagues; that must be horrible.