What makes things difficult

by Greg, seemingly ranch, Friday, May 29, 2026, 11:09 (11 days ago) @ Silk

and he was my rector in the tower, just FTR.

But what makes things difficult is that those uncomfortable "locker room" moments aside nothing ever seemed to be predatory with him. The times I and/or my buddies were in bad shape coming in the door he didn't get involved but instead had an RA or the friends of the guy in bad shape make sure they got safely up to their rooms. I never heard rumors of anything beyond the, for lack of a better term, flagrant and public stuff. Like, when my grandmother died and I went for some counseling because I wasn't going to get home for the funeral, there was no grabassery at all.

And why does that make things difficult? Because with Burtchaell known to all of us coming into the school, and with the rumors about other rectors (like King), and with the flagrant nature of the hugs or other ass-slappery, it normalized the stuff that did happen. But was it normal? In retrospect not at all, but in the context of the early-1990s and the stories about the truly disgusting and the general attempts to make a 500-plus person dorm into a home, it took on that "locker room" feel I described above. So nothing was said, certainly not by me, even though in retrospect things should have been said.

I lost touch with him after his departure and marriage. Traded Christmas cards for a while as he started the family and then one came back undeliverable and that was that. Glad to hear that the next phase of his life treated him well.

--
The 2007 ND-UCLA game was a once in a lifetime experience, I hope