That's a parent problem, not a sports problem

by Ken Fowler, Thursday, July 24, 2014, 10:42 (3563 days ago) @ Greg

If a kid can't cope with losing, or gets an inflated sense of value because he's good at sports, that's on his parents. I was terrible at almost every sport I played, but even at 8 and 9, I played to win the game.

My parents made sure I knew that the game was fun, win or lose; winning was more fun; and losing doesn't take anything away from you. I would have hated sports that didn't keep score. And I don't want my kid to lose out on the thrill that is scored competition just because some parents don't instill the proper values in their kid and/or are afraid their kid is going to be unduly sad if he loses.

locked

319 views

Complete thread:

A soccer note - Greg, 2014-07-24, 08:15
- Not to put too fine a point on it - IrishGuard, 2014-07-25, 07:04
  - Is baseball? - Greg, 2014-07-25, 07:47
    - Baseball is in a world of hurt - crazychester, 2014-07-25, 08:17
      - Somewhat related... - Jim (OFD), 2014-07-25, 08:26
- Well, for all the dudes in this thread .... - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 13:50
  - Great post imo. - Mark, 2014-07-24, 15:15
    - Very true -- we required that they each ... - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 15:50
      - From experience there is only one problem with that. - River, 2014-07-24, 16:12
  - Thanks. Two questions and an explanation - Greg, 2014-07-24, 14:02
    - a few thoughts - Mark, 2014-07-24, 15:06
      - Thanks! A couple thoughts. - Greg, 2014-07-24, 15:19
        
        On No. 2, if you want to be heartened, check out Cromwell - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 15:58
        
        I wonder how much of that - Mark, 2014-07-24, 15:26
    - A few thoughts - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 14:41
      - I like your ideas - Greg, 2014-07-24, 14:50
- To be fair, MLS teams often do well in these friendlies - HCE, 2014-07-24, 09:01
  - Bear in mind that the European teams... - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 09:06
    - Indeed,which is why these friendlies should be taken - HCE, 2014-07-24, 11:33
- What happened yesterday better open some eyes in the MLS. - River, 2014-07-24, 08:42
  - Not only would I not keep score... - Greg, 2014-07-24, 09:16
  - After watching Chicago play last night... - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 08:58
  - CASL does that here in Raleigh. - Chris, 2014-07-24, 08:49
    - Good. - River, 2014-07-24, 09:22
  - Don't keep score until middle school? - CK08, 2014-07-24, 08:45
    - My son's U9 coach has an approach I like. - Kevin, 2014-07-24, 10:42
    - Essentially, yes. - River, 2014-07-24, 09:18
    - The tactics that win games in U9 don't develop players. - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 08:51
      - Maybe other rule changes then? - CK08, 2014-07-24, 09:15
        
        IMO the best way to go is to keep score and make - BillyGoat, 2014-07-24, 09:23
        
        "The world" does not keep score - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 10:47
        
        There are two different things - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:50
        
        that's not the world keeping score - Spesh, 2014-07-24, 11:00
        
        I've lost a hell of a lot more than I've won - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:04
        
        I like the idea of not officially keeping score. - Kevin, 2014-07-24, 12:32
        
        I also like the idea of no trophies - Greg, 2014-07-24, 12:49
        
        No, that is people keeping score - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 11:00
        
        On a broad scale - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:03
        
        That's also not score keeping - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 11:11
        
        I guess I'm not talking about being a good winner - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:18
        
        Here's hoping you win! - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 11:37
        
        Interesting - Greg, 2014-07-24, 09:19
        
        In order to be employed, someone is judging us - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 09:25
        
        Here's my thought - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:13
        
        I just think we need to change what it means to score - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:34
        
        This seems truthy - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:32
        
        I can only speak for myself - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:38
        
        How can you say this? - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:41
        
        I whole-heartedly agree with the benefits of scorekeeping - crazychester, 2014-07-24, 10:47
        
        No one - Spesh, 2014-07-24, 10:45
        
        Keeping score can equal praise for effort - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:46
        
        Keeping score in a game so reliant on teamwork - Kevin, 2014-07-24, 10:57
        
        Is your coach named Chuck Martin? - Tim, 2014-07-24, 12:10
        
        I like your coach a lot - Greg, 2014-07-24, 11:03
        
        Again, agreed - crazychester, 2014-07-24, 10:52
        
        Isn't half the world bitching about "entitled millenials"? - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:44
        
        Or do they just show up because they know they won't "win" - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 10:56
        
        We don't have to emphasize score keeping - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:00
        
        The alternative ignores the score - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 11:09
        
        Playing is fun. Winning is more fun. - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 11:23
        
        Winning is fun when you're old enough to know - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 11:28
        
        I recall my kids' teams all taking their losses .... - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 18:26
        
        this really isn't that hard - what are the learning targets? - Spesh, 2014-07-24, 11:20
        
        Winning is one of the …. - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 22:05
        
        Ken's idea would achieve both - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:25
        
        What happened to both/and? - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:58
        
        Sure - ndphilo, 2014-07-24, 11:08
        
        They may be. But like most PopPsy bullshit, - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:48
        
        I think it teaches kids... - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:35
        
        I was the smallest kid on almost any field, even in HS - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:42
        
        How many did quit? - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:45
        
        I honestly can't think of one - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:58
        
        That's a parent problem, not a sports problem - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:42
        
        I love this line - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:47
        
        12 just seems really late to me - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:53
        
        Are you sure? How many such leagues did you play in? - JN, 2014-07-24, 11:10
        
        I agree with almost everything you wrote - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:16
        
        Not quite - JN, 2014-07-24, 11:27
        
        But... - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:59
        
        But your argument goes further than that - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:52
        
        Let's see - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:57
        
        Kids can't be competitive at 11 years old? - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:59
        
        Why do they need to be? - River, 2014-07-24, 11:15
        
        Because it's enjoyable - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 11:24
        
        I get that, but so is just playing. - River, 2014-07-24, 11:46
        
        I think the worry about HS soccer is a tempest ... - Puck52, 2014-07-24, 18:32
        
        Have to draw a line somewhere - Greg, 2014-07-24, 11:05
        
        That's not true for Ken and I - CK08, 2014-07-24, 11:06
        
        THEY *COMPETED* FOR THAT EGG - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 11:06
        
        ~75% of boys keep score anyway, across all sports. - Buck Mulligan, 2014-07-24, 09:42
        
        This. - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:15
        
        Chicken and egg - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:35
        
        If the six year olds had never played in a keep-score game - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:40
        
        By incessant chatter from overweening parents - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:42
        
        That's a parent problem. - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:47
        
        Um - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:54
        
        So should we stop talking ND scores with kids? - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:55
        
        How do you get that? - Greg, 2014-07-24, 11:06
        
        The subthread leads to that pretty readily - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 11:08
        
        uh, ALL OF THEM - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 10:52
        
        But that's what you're doing - Ken Fowler, 2014-07-24, 10:54
        
        Then let the kids keep score in their heads - Greg, 2014-07-24, 10:32
        
        I'm not sure kids need to learn that at 10 years old. - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 09:32
        
        I think they do - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:20
        
        practice vs. games, natch. - Buck Mulligan, 2014-07-24, 10:36
        
        Bingo. - River, 2014-07-24, 09:34
        
        We're in complete agreement. - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 09:40
        
        Hey Johnny, you scored 6 goals today. You rule! - Greg, 2014-07-24, 09:28
        
        12-13 is too late though - CK08, 2014-07-24, 10:18
        
        That about sums it up. - River, 2014-07-24, 09:42
- The Galaxy? - Chris, 2014-07-24, 08:33
- Homerist comment on Manchester United - Pat (Moco), 2014-07-24, 08:20
  - God bless David Moyes. - tex29, 2014-07-24, 08:22
    - Your mother was a hamster. - Pat (Moco), 2014-07-24, 10:43
- And yet, guys like Besler and Zusi chose to stay at home - Jim (OFD), 2014-07-24, 08:19
  - I tend to think that... - Greg, 2014-07-24, 08:25
    - I'd say our best players have a duty to answer - Dylan, 2014-07-24, 08:28
      - I don't know that's it's a desire not to play the best... - ndroman21, 2014-07-24, 08:46
        
        The league is much closer to buying than selling now - irishoutsider, 2014-07-24, 10:49

the Polo Grounds

That's a parent problem, not a sports problem