Jay took two of the contenders.

by Savage, Around Ye Olde Colonial College, Thursday, May 16, 2013, 13:16 (4772 days ago) @ Chris

"Sweet Jalen Brown" would evoke "Sweet Georgia Brown", which is from the 20's originally. This doesn't work for Chris Brown because the name doesn't ring right, and he's from the state right next door, which might cause tension.

And of course everyone named "Lou" has a 50/50 chance of being called "Sweet Lou".

I'll go with the next best thing and choose "Sweet Lo Wood". (Added bonus of combining old-timey nickname with new-style pop-culture nickname, since it sorta sounds like "Sweet N Lo" ... imagine the marketing possibilities!)